{"id":1100082,"date":"2023-04-07T23:05:14","date_gmt":"2023-04-08T03:05:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bocskairadio.org\/?p=1100082"},"modified":"2025-01-03T19:07:39","modified_gmt":"2025-01-04T00:07:39","slug":"we-need-god-in-our-lives-a-conversation-with-dr-istvan-horvath-of-new-brunswick-new-jersey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bocskairadio.org\/en\/we-need-god-in-our-lives-a-conversation-with-dr-istvan-horvath-of-new-brunswick-new-jersey\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018We need God in our lives\u2019 \u2014 A Conversation with Dr. Istv\u00e1n Horv\u00e1th of New Brunswick, New Jersey"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is an abridged version of the original\u00a0<\/em>interview<\/em><\/a>\u00a0first published on\u00a0<\/em>777.hu.<\/p>\n

I first met Istv\u00e1n in New Brunswick at Father Imre Juh\u00e1sz\u2019 celebration of his 20th anniversary of priesthood. He has been serving the local Hungarian community for the past 45 years along with his wife Dr. Brigitte Mih\u00e1lyfi. Istv\u00e1n has been vice-president and president of the local Hungarian Catholic church\u2019s council; served as president of the local Hungarian scouts\u2019 Parent Organization; as a teacher, assistant principal and principal of the local Hungarian school; as treasurer, vice-president and president of the local Hungarian club to name just a few of the many hats he has worn.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Immigrating to America Twice<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Istv\u00e1n\u2019s parents arrived in America in 1951 as displaced persons (DP\u2019s). They escaped from Hungary in 1948, met in a refugee camp in Austria and got married there. His father spoke fluent German, Latin and quickly learned English in a few months while he was employed at Bethlehem Steel Works in Pennsylvania. \u2018It was not at all pleasant and by no means an easy way he had to earn his bread\u2019 to provide for his growing family: their daughter was born in Austria in 1950, followed by their son in the summer of 1958 in America. His mother was employed in a factory as an assembly line worker. They were both industrious so within a short time they had the financial means to buy a home and a restaurant business with apartments for rent above. They then moved to Allentown, Pennsylvania and from there to Baltimore, Maryland, where upon the personal invitation of Dr. Ferenc Gy\u00f6rkey, a renowned pathologist at Johns Hopkins University, his father studied pathology to become a medical technologist to assist Dr. Gy\u00f6rkey.<\/p>\n

When he was offered to head up Dr. Gy\u00f6rkey\u2019s new pathology lab in Texas, he turned it down and decided to return to Austria in 1962, already as American citizens. The family settled near the border close to their relatives on the other side of the iron curtain, waiting for the end of the Soviet occupation. \u2018Many DP\u2019s came to America only temporarily, until they could return and rejoin their families. We were raised in the same way: our parents taught us Hungarian, literature, history and politics as if we attended schools in Hungary. This was useful, but not easy to accomplish in a foreign culture. What a tremendous challenge this is to parents, I realized only when I started my own family. If there is a Hungarian community close by, it may be slightly easier, but still extremely difficult.\u2019<\/p>\n

Istv\u00e1n was born in 1964 in N\u00e9met\u00fajv\u00e1r (G\u00fcssing, Austria) and his younger sister in 1966 in Szentkereszt (Heiligenkreuz, Austria), both as dual citizens. The parents waited for the Hungarian border to open until 1967, when it became obvious that there was no chance of this becoming a reality any time soon. They returned to the U.S., landing in New Brunswick, New Jersey, because Istv\u00e1n\u2019s father had acquaintances there, like the Kun-Szab\u00f3 family, who helped them get settled. \u2018This is when my American life started, at barely four years old. I remember the daycare where I went to, but I\u2019ve got vivid memories even from our time in Austria. I recall the moment I first saw the Statue of Liberty for instance.\u2019<\/p>\n

His parents left it to the school system to teach Istv\u00e1n English, and they spoke Hungarian at home\u2014as a result he learned both languages well. \u2018As a parent, I saw what a great challenge this is. My older sister attended the Hungarian high school in Kastl, Bavaria, Germany, so she had some formal language training, and my brother attended the St. Ladislaus School in New Brunswick for two years where they had Hungarian curriculum every day, but all this wouldn\u2019t have been enough had not my parents spoken Hungarian with us at home. If my parents had given up constantly teaching, correcting and helping us to find the right words to use in Hungarian, I wouldn\u2019t be speaking Hungarian at all.\u2019 Istv\u00e1n and his younger sister couldn\u2019t attend Hungarian school, because at the time they lived in Parsippany, New Jersey and could only visit and mingle with the Hungarian community at larger celebrations. In 1976, the family moved to Florida for four years, which also didn\u2019t help nurture their Hungarian culture and heritage.<\/p>\n

Growing Up in New Brunswick<\/strong><\/h2>\n

His family moved back to the New Brunswick area in 1980. \u2018I was 16 years old\u2014old enough to take my life into my own hands. I remember making the decision at age 14 that I want to be Hungarian. So, upon getting back to New Brunswick, I started attending and helping at the community events regularly. My parents weren\u2019t even aware of this, because I mostly did it on my own, riding my bike to the church, the club, or the scout home.\u2019 It was obvious for him also to become a Hungarian scout: what they taught as character building was similar to what he learned at catechism: love your God, nation, your fellow man, and respect the environment as God\u2019s creation.<\/p>\n

Istv\u00e1n decided to seek out his spiritual life on his own. \u2018I can\u2019t put a date on when it happened, it\u2019s possible it was there all along, but since I was a child, I felt the need to be in God\u2019s presence. My older siblings attended parochial school, and they had their first communion, but my younger sister and I didn\u2019t, and I missed this very much. I asked my parents to allow me to make my first communion (at age 12) and my confirmation (at age 14) at the local parish where we lived at the time.\u2019 Since he didn\u2019t have proper religious education, he didn\u2019t understand how these all worked, nevertheless, \u2018the Holy Spirit was working in me\u2019, he recalled. At St. Ladislaus Rev. Juli\u00e1n F\u00fcz\u00e9r, OFM immediately recognized the curiosity of the 16-year-old attending masses without his family and striking up long conversations with him. \u2018We became friends and continued corresponding long after he left his assignment here at St. Ladislaus. I was at the church during my college years at the nearby Rutgers University every Sunday. I helped around the church, the scouts and the club at all their events, even after I got my engineering degree. God has always directed and guided my life, kept me in his care, and although I didn\u2019t recognize it for quite some time, He has always been there for me.\u2019<\/p>\n

\n

\"\"
Dr. Istv\u00e1n Horv\u00e1th at the St. Ladislaus Church in New Brunswick in 2023 PHOTO: Ildik\u00f3 Antal-Ferencz<\/figcaption><\/figure>
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Career Path<\/strong><\/h2>\n

At first, he followed his vision of what he thought would make him happy and make him important in the eyes of the world: he studied hard and excelled in high school, at university and beyond. He received many awards, scholarships, recognition for scholarly work and commendations for his accomplishments. As a result, it seemed for a while that this was the right road for him, and he realized only later he was greatly mistaken. \u2018I very much liked the learning process itself; anything I was interested in, I studied and learned, despite not seeing a goal or understanding why I wanted it. I didn\u2019t understand back then that everything God created for this world is there for our amazement to discover, study and learn. But without Him nothing makes sense. While I was doing it for my parents\u2019 sake, I was indirectly following God\u2019s will, but when I started to do it for my own edification and for other people\u2019s respect, that\u2019s where I went astray and started to work against myself\u2026If you embark on a task only because you want to experience it, to feel success or self-worth or because you think you deserve it, that\u2019s always a selfish act. I\u2019m aware how strong social critique is, since today everything is about the experience and \u201cthe fear of missing out\u201d. Back then, I wasn\u2019t aware of this either, I just felt it wasn\u2019t right.\u2019<\/p>\n

For some time, he didn\u2019t see a clear goal for all his study efforts and later his career seemed to plateau as well, and despite making new career goals for himself, he was unhappy. As he explained, electrical engineering is probably the most difficult and encompassing field of all engineering sciences. For this reason, very few electrical engineers end up in their original career paths and now that the economic conditions have caused drastic reductions of U.S. manufacturing, there is a reduced need for such professionals. By the time he earned his PhD, it was clear his career was evaporating.<\/p>\n

He had started at Bell Laboratories, the world\u2019s largest and most advanced research institute that provided America with most of its military and civil development knowledge, as well as patents since its inception in 1937. \u2018It was a great challenge and an honor to be hired, but after a while I couldn\u2019t find my place there. The area of science that most interested me, the fundamental research area of fiber optics that also includes terrestrial and undersea cables that provide the world\u2019s internet capabilities was sold off to first a domestic, then to a multinational conglomerate, and finally moved overseas. This, in my opinion, was a betrayal of trust and treason, of which I also became the victim. I couldn\u2019t stay and do my work in good conscience. Fortunately, I was asked to teach at my alma mater (Rutgers University), and shortly thereafter accepted an adjunct professorship to the Electrical & Computer Engineering and to the Biomedical Engineering departments. While employed there, I completed an additional MED\/PhD program to receive a dual degree in Biomedicine and Human Physiology by 2003. Medicine still appeared to be a place of opportunity.\u2019<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t easy, but it seemed to him the right course to take. He continued to develop his consulting company he started in the \u201990\u2019s. However, with the second great recession of 2008 the contracts dried up quickly. By 2014, the only opportunities to work were cooperations with small start-ups with little or no budgets and managing his investment properties he bought along the way. His career was basically over.<\/p>\n

Family<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Istv\u00e1n\u2019s wife, Brigitte\u2019s parents married in Hungary and were \u201956ers arriving in the U.S. in 1957. Their only child was born in New Brunswick, directly into the Hungarian community. She was a cradle Catholic who attended St. Ladislaus school, from kindergarten to eighth grade, was a Hungarian scout from the age of four, and an avid folk dancer from a young age. Istv\u00e1n, along with Zsolt Balla, led an adult scouting group to keep together young adults in the Hungarian community. Roughly thirty young people met regularly on Friday evenings for lectures, folk dance practice, and for going out together. Brigitte, a specialty physician of Neonatology and Pediatrics who was doing an extra residency year in the area, also joined the group. According to Istv\u00e1n, they are both quiet, humble, hard-working individuals who quickly found each other. \u2018We married in 1988 and had our first child in 1989, Pisti, followed by Kati and Laci. We agreed to raise our children in a Hungarian language environment, based on our faith and our community service.\u2019 The children became scouts, attended the Hungarian school and the folk dance groups as well as played and sang classical and folk music. Each of them have their strengths: Pisti in literature, Kati in folk dance, Laci in music. \u2018It\u2019s a great feeling for us that our children not only reach their highest potential but share it with others\u2019, said Istv\u00e1n proudly.<\/p>\n

\n

\"\"
The Horv\u00e1th children PHOTO: courtesy of Dr. Istv\u00e1n Horv\u00e1th<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/figure>\n

He confessed: he likes literature and in particular poetry very much. He often read to his children, and Pisti was very much drawn in by it. He was regularly asked to recite poetry in school which gave him confidence to follow this path. Since then, he writes his own poems and has published a volume, and enjoys translating publications. Kati has surpassed her parents in folk dance, first in the HAAC\u2019s dance groups of M\u00e1kvir\u00e1g (youth) and Cs\u0171rd\u00f6ng\u00f6l\u0151 (adult), then with Csillagszem\u0171 in Hungary while living there as a Balassi scholar and later with the Ferenc Erkel Dance Group while she was a university student in Budapest. She started her studies in pharmacy at Rutgers, but transferred in her second year to Semmelweis University (SOTE) in Budapest which she completed last year.<\/p>\n

Laci\u2019s story is even more unique: at age four he told his parents that he\u2019d like to be a Catholic priest. Three years later, he told them the same again, and when he was nine and visited Hungary for the first time, he was taken to the\u00a0Pannonhalma Abbey<\/a>. He was so engrossed with the idea of going to school there that he wrote a letter to the school principal and after several months of waiting and then learning for a very strict entrance exam, was accepted to the high school as a seventh-grader at the age of 12. By the middle of the second year, he managed to find his place and sprouted his wings. From eighth grade to graduation, he was at the top of his class and his musical talent flourished again. All three children played the violin, but Laci was a virtuoso talent. He started in Westminster College Conservatory, Princeton at age five and moved to New York City School for Strings at age eight, and performed in front of live audiences from the age of seven. At Pannonhalma, he continued his violin studies with a master violinist from the Ferenc Liszt Academy of Music. After graduating from high school, he was allowed to stay for an additional year to finish his music degree in church music offered by the Music Academy of G\u00f6d\u00f6ll\u0151, while he assisted as dormitory prefect and was in charge of liturgy at the monastery. He learned to play the piano and the organ, and at weekends served in eight surrounding villages as an organist. Afterwards, he was accepted to SOTE in Budapest, following in his mother\u2019s footsteps. However, after the first year, he returned to his childhood dream and applied to the Budapest Seminary. \u2018He has a long road ahead, but he is a cheerful seminarian. It seems he avoided my misstep\u2019, his father concluded.<\/p>\n

\n

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The Horv\u00e1th family at Christmas in 2023 PHOTO: courtesy of Dr. Istv\u00e1n Horv\u00e1th<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/figure>\n

Community Service<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u2018I\u2019m usually asked to head up a task or institution when it needs to be put in order,\u2019 Istv\u00e1n noted. In the early 1990s Rev. M\u00e1t\u00e9 Kiss, OFM asked him to be a parish council member, because the pastor couldn\u2019t deal with the parishioners\u2019 discontent. In 1994, Rev. Paul Rotondi, OFM retained him to help manage the second renovation of the church by cleaning up the serious financial issues of the parish. In 2010, Rev. Kerrigan, Pastor of the new Holy Family parish, requested him to be in the parish council during the controversial consolidation of the local parishes to assure a smooth transition.<\/p>\n

As regards the teaching of catechism, he maintains: \u2018I came to realize that all pursuit of knowledge without God is vanity. All knowledge, talent and knowing comes from Him, we are merely custodians and molders of the knowledge we\u2019ve received. If we keep it to ourselves, we benefit from it, but no one else does and it dies with us. The Blessed Mother asked me to teach catechism, but I initially thought this referred only to my family. But shortly thereafter, Ft. Capistran, OFM asked me to assume the role as the parish catechist left for a new job assignment. I didn\u2019t attend any formal training, so I didn\u2019t feel competent, yet I accepted.\u2019 He had altogether 55 catechumens, 39 for first communion and 16 for confirmation. \u2018Parents often worry that their children don\u2019t comprehend the Gospel and the catechism as it\u2019s taught, they complain that it\u2019s too difficult or abstract. It\u2019s not necessary to \u201cdumb them down\u201d, but it\u2019s important to connect life experiences to the discussions. It\u2019s not necessary for a child to understand everything at once. Sometimes it takes several weeks for a child to finally raise the first question or to contribute to the discussion, depending on the topic and how it affected them spiritually. It\u2019s not the memorization of the knowledge that\u2019s important, but to allow them to ponder the spiritual world. They may not have the opportunity to discuss or talk about these things at home. Children tend to raise the most fundamental questions of life that adults don\u2019t dare ask: \u2018Who am I?\u201d, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of my life?\u201d, \u201cWho made me?\u201d, \u201cWho is God?\u201d\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

Similarly, at one point he was asked to lead the Hungarian school because its financial problems and internal personal conflicts strained its operation. Istv\u00e1n is most proud of the converts among the teachers during his tenure. \u2018I zealously spread the Gospel word, and for that I had many enemies, but ultimately there were six adult baptisms during this time.\u2019 As an adult scout leader, he always helped where he was needed: he was field day sports team member, referee, organizer; poetry recital participant, organizer and juror. As the president of the scout parent organization, he oversaw the renovation of the scout house on Plum Street. He helped for 14 years in a row as a technical assistant in the scout leadership and jubilee camps. \u2018I put even my engineering skills to good use, but I\u2019m also proud that I taught at the annual summer school camps for several years.\u2019<\/p>\n

At the large-scale annual Hungarian Festival, Istv\u00e1n helped as leader of the various organizations involved\u2014St. Ladislaus Church, Hungarian Scouts, Hungarian School and the HAAC\u2014by planning, preparing, ordering and managing to feed thousands of visitors who came to celebrate the Hungarian heritage in New Brunswick for close to thirty years. He was also on the jury of the annual cauldron-cooking contest for seven years, prepared cauldron soups and stews for large events such as the Linden Palinka Festival as well as managed the cooking and baking for New Years parties, Christmas and Easter bake sales, St. Nicholas Day and Mardi Gras celebrations, balls and picnics throughout the year.<\/p>\n

Closing<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Istv\u00e1n explained that while in Hungary communism tried to convince people for fifty years that there is no God, in America capitalism did the same. The first immigrants needed God in their lives to endure the overwhelming hardship they faced, therefore they built churches, organizations and communities. The next two generations lack this experience.<\/p>\n

\u2018As we weaken and become flabby in our excesses, we don\u2019t make any sacrifices in our lives anymore to be in touch with our Creator; we slowly move away from Him and finally leave Him altogether. As we remove God from our lives, we think the world has turned against us, but in fact we have turned against God\u2019s world. Therefore, \u201csaving the planet\u201d doesn\u2019t require great new green deals and forced recycling, it only requires that we keep God in our lives. So many of us are so proud of their children\u2019s and grandchildren\u2019s successes, and that\u2019s fine, but it would mean much more with God in our minds. With Him, everything we do has a meaning, and so will our life in the community. Pursuing success aimlessly leads to a very bitter, selfish life. Therefore, when Hungarians complain like this: \u201cWhy can\u2019t we recruit young people, why don\u2019t they come to our events?\u201d, I answer them with another question: \u201cWhere are your children and grandchildren?\u201d. And if they ask: \u201cWhy can\u2019t we have events and programs like we did in the past?\u201d, I again answer with a question: \u201cWho will organize the event, will you do it?\u201d. Then they quickly go silent. I don\u2019t mean to offend them and I\u2019m not trying to lecture them, but if each of these families would did their small part starting with their own families, we\u2019d be much better off.\u00a0 If everyone asked themselves: \u201cWhat have I done to solve this problem?\u201d or \u201cWhat will I do going forward?\u201d, the situation would be different. If they only complain about not getting along with certain others in the community, will there be another community to go to? If everybody only takes out of the community, but doesn\u2019t give back to it, there will soon be no community at all. Just think of the hardships our ancestors had or even now in some parts of the world others have to endure, in political strife, wars, oppression! We live in utter excess and comfort. We shouldn\u2019t complain, we should act.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ildik\u00f3 Antal-Ferencz<\/strong><\/p>\n

Source: hungarianconservative.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is an abridged version of the original\u00a0<\/em>interview<\/em><\/a>\u00a0first published on\u00a0<\/em>777.hu.<\/p>\n

I first met Istv\u00e1n in New Brunswick at Father Imre Juh\u00e1sz\u2019 celebration of his 20th anniversary of priesthood. He has been serving the local Hungarian community for the past 45 years along with his wife Dr. Brigitte Mih\u00e1lyfi. Istv\u00e1n has been vice-president and president of the local Hungarian Catholic church\u2019s council; served as president of the local Hungarian scouts\u2019 Parent Organization; as a teacher, assistant principal and principal of the local Hungarian school; as treasurer, vice-president and president of the local Hungarian club to name just a few of the many hats he has worn.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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I first met Istv\u00e1n in New Brunswick at Father Imre Juh\u00e1sz\u2019 celebration of his 20th anniversary of priesthood. He has been serving the local Hungarian community for the past 45 years along with his wife Dr. Brigitte Mih\u00e1lyfi. Istv\u00e1n has been vice-president and president of the local Hungarian Catholic church\u2019s council; served as president of the local Hungarian scouts\u2019 Parent Organization; as a teacher, assistant principal and principal of the local Hungarian school; as treasurer, vice-president and president of the local Hungarian club to name just a few of the many hats he has worn. 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